20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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