and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
