: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
