How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize