Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize