Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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