there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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