in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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