STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
