she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
