I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My legs feel like baby dolphins
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
