Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
