Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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