I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize