If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
