he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
