They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
