It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
