so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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