Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
