lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm getting married
To pizza
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize