I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
