the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
