Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
My ass is underappreciated
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
