Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
