yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
