Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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