the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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