I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
