Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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