My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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