Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize