The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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