Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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