found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
