im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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