I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
