woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
