did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
