physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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