you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
