so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
