I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
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He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
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It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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