Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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