i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
