This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
