just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
