It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
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