i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize