im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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