Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize