5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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