C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
