i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
