Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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