yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
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Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
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You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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