So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
