Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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