Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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