margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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