very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
