dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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