I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
