just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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