I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I wish they made helmets for livers.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
did i just pee glitter
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
