I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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