i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
