addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
