So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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