Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
