come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
